Where the hell have you been?

So you go away from Blogging for a while (24+ months) and a damn Reality TV Show happens...

I haven't been entirely idle since last posting on here...progress has been made in my journey to Prep like a Motherfucker.

Fitness - well this goal has been patchy to say the least. Many false starts and good intentions, BUT I am now starting to get there. I'll do a proper post on that little journey soon.

Self defense - this is one area where I can truthfully say I haven't been a slack arse. Archery! Enjoying the hell out of this new(ish) hobby. Started in October 2014 and have been going ever since. Bought a lovely take down hunting recurve Samick Sage bow and I'm working hard to master learn the art of instinctive archery.  I joined a Club and the Duke made me a full size target for my birthday.

Stockpiling - We've been working on increasing our storage space as this has been the biggest issue for any true preparations. Sheds have popped up all over the place, a caravan for the eldest kinder and a Studio underway as well. Actual stockpiling? Not so much.

Self-sufficiency - water tanks still just a distant dream. Vegie patches productive. New chickens and egg production is full steam ahead.

Practice - I finally completed the Walking Dead Game! And have Wyrnwood, Road of the Dead

on my to watch list.  I am also very excited about this - Zombies, Run handbook!

So that's the Brodies notes on the missing months.

Oh ..and we also have a new puppy! The beautiful Cadbury passed away in February 2014 after 13 years of faithful, smelly companionship. We lasted until August and then I cracked and bought Cleo...the Basenji. Well that's been a learning curve!  The positives..well puppy!  Also no doggy smell, no shedding, no barking and highly intelligent.  The negatives?  Well puppy! Very very willful breed, they learn commands super quickly and then decide not to follow them almost immediately! Many can climb like cats (thankfully not Cleo) and are master escapologists. We are completely besotted so expect many more posts and photos.. I'll try not to be too gushy....

Limping towards Armageddon...

Me, running with bursitis on my knees

Sorry I've been absent (again!) But I have actually been doing a spot of prepping, a smidgeon of Zombie research and a whole lot of running!  As promised I bought the ZombiesRun! App and gave it a whirl.

 It was AWESOME!!!  And then I got bursitis in my knees (or, more glamorously, Housemaids Knee) which sucked as I had to wait for weeks before I could run again.

I am now tentatively back on the treadmill, literally, as it was attempting to run in the real world that buggered me knees in the first place.  The app is more fun when you are running through a semi-deserted University in the late afternoon but even on the treadmill it makes the grind of exercise really cool.





I have also been working on another Blog - because not posting on two blogs is not enough - I need more commitment to feel guilty about failing.

And now for some Zombie related news from around the globe

5 best places to hide from Zombies in the US

Friends survive together with My Little Pony themed armaments

A comic book for zombie survival

How Fast can a Zombie Run?

So I tried on my bathers the other day...It was not pretty. 

Three years of almost no exercise has turned me from a slim and fairly fit PoleDancing/Ju Jitsuing/Runner into something...not so much!  It's not that I weigh much more than I used to..its just it's all gone kinda...saggy. 

This (and several nights watching waaay too many episodes of The Walking Dead) led me to wonder "Am I fit enough to survive a Zombie Apocalypse?"

So of course I turned to the internet to find out.  I started with this site for a fairly general discussion -

How fast can they run? - Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki

There were some interesting discussions regarding types of Zombies, Rigor Mortis and lactic acid buildup in dead versus live muscles but in the end I didn't feel much the wiser. 

So next I sought some tips from Zombieland - These Survival Rules were pretty good actually although not all related to fitness -

http://zombie.wikia.com/wiki/Zombieland_Survival_Rules

Next I Googled Zombie Workout and OMG the number of people who have really put some effort in here is just astonishing!

Here is just a sample:

  Zombie Fit  This website uses what my son describes as "the manly French martial art of running away" or Parkour to gradually increase what it describes as your "Fitness for the Apocalypse"

 Zombie Workout  - Written by a self-described Television writer who throws amazing cocktail parties.  It chronicles her on-again off-again attempts to get fit to survive the Zombie apocalypse and I must admit I really related to her inability to actually blog regularly or do enough to prepare for the coming armageddon.  She's making good progress now though.

"How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse"  at NerdFitness is by far my favourite - nicely designed, funny and easy to read and full of good, solid info!

The other good news is that even if you are out of shape and lacking the motivation to get ZombieFit THERE IS AN APP FOR THAT!  I kid you not!

"Zombies, Run!" is a mobile phone running game that turns your boring jog into a matter of life or Un-death!  It is now available for Android as well as I-Phone users and I am off to the App store to buy me a copy!!!  I'll do a review once I have started using it as well as give updates on how I am doing on the path to recovering my Zombie Survival Fitness!!!

Updated 14 December 2012
Sorry I've been absent (again!) But I have actually been doing a spot of prepping, a smidgion of Zombie research and a whole lot of running!  As promised I bought theZombies, Run! App and gave it a whirl.  It was AWESOME!!!  And then I got bursitis in my knees (or, more glamorously, Housemaids Knee) which sucked as I had to wait for weeks before I could run again.  I am now tentatively back on the treadmill, literally, as it was attempting to run in the real world that buggered me knees in the first place.  The app is more fun when you are running through a semi-deserted University in the late afternoon but even on the treadmill it makes the grind of exercise really cool. I am now up to running about 4.5kms three times a week and I'm doing weights twice a week (Cardio,cardio, cardio!!) and it is sooo good to be feeling vaguely fit again.  I'm also having 4 weeks off over Christmas so I will have lots of time to keep up the regime, start my canning and dehydrating and continue with my quest to survive TEOTWAWKI (pity there's only a few days left...)  You can follow my ZombiesRun journey online if you have any interest...  https://www.zombiesrungame.com/Aulieude/413918/

Next post will be sooner I promise - possibly a drunken one on the eve of the Mayan End Times 21/12/12!!!

Did you remember the Whiskas?

So it's been a while since I posted and I'd love to say that's because I have been busy pickling crates of home grown vegetables whilst single-handedly installing a solar-powered Zombie-proof electric razor wire fence.  Sadly the truth is more mundane and less "Preppy" and involves boring words like "work" and "Gastro"

During this hiatus though I have been giving lots of thought to the subject of "Won't somebody think of the children!   or, more correctly..the Pets!"  because when TSHTF and you have to bug-out or bunker down - have you remembered pet food and, in our case, all the hideously expensive medicines that keep our ancient Cavalier King Charles Spaniel alive? 

Pet Food is important, because your cat WILL eat you if you haven't got any...seriously.  And if your cat is anything like ours she will whine and whinge when hungry so loudly even Zombies who have had their ears gnawed off couldn't fail to hear her.  And also cats wander, they sneak about, they kill things.  They GO OUTSIDE and probably bring that nasty old undead infection back with them!

So you will probably end up with this crawling up the bed clothes toward you ...

This....

...of course would NEVER happen because cats are assholes.

I actually Googled for images of Zombie cats (There's a million of them) but couldn't find one image of a Zombified Cavalier King Charles....

This is the closest I could get -

Braaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnssss!



Storage issues

....alternative title "I have nowhere to store the fucking beans!!"

Prepping (the cool term for being loony) is all about supplies.  Food, water, seeds, toilet paper (most important) medicines and, if you live in one of the more trigger happy parts of the world, gunsandammo.  To be fully prepared for a TEOTWAWKI or SHTF scenario one must have lots and lots and lots of supplies.

And you have to rotate them, cos otherwise they go gross and give you botulism or ebola or something. 

The other option is to have a LIST.  The idea being that you are obsessively monitoring the various world wide scenarios for DOOM and will know exactly when to get your ass to the shops and buy your supplies BEFORE the rest of the sheeple (another cool term for everyone in the world who is not loony) cotton on to the fact that they are all about to become zombie fodder.


Monitoring world DOOM is exhausting.  I know.  I do it.  A lot.

From Global Maps pinpointing unfolding disasters to conspiracy sites spouting some of the most randomly weird theories you will ever read to survivalist boards quietly comparing freeze dried food brands - I'm up to my glazed eyeballs in DOOM. 

But I know deep down that there is no way I will be able to respond quickly enough in a imaginary disaster scenario caused by latent paranoia  real life situation armed with nothing more than a hopeful  list.  So I need to stock up.  The problem being that I have absolutely no space. 

Semi-recent additions to my little family - aka new husband and two large stepsons, means our wee cottage is bursting at the seams.  Our loungeroom is now a shared bedroom, the dining table is on the back verandah and we have no spare space anywhere. 

So I am left with this conundrum, where the hell can I store my crazy-lady apocalypse supplies without alarming the cleaning lady??

Your thoughts and suggestions are welcome.

So we all know about the horrible face eating incident in Miami...

...so I am NOT going to post a link to it here (Let's just say my paranoia levels rose QUITE a bit over the weekend! ) But given that Zombie's are the new black (see how ahead of the pack I am..the shuffling, hunger-crazed pack...)  you might find this of interest:  http://www.mapofthedead.com/

Apologies for not posting last week - family stuff got in the way.  I will make up for it with a longer post soon I promise. 

Bugging out!

Tomorrow I have to drive down south - to the country!!- for various not very happy family matters. 

A sojourn out of urban surrounds is making me ponder that all important facet of Zombie Survival - the Bug Out Spot.

Once upon a time I HAD a bug-out spot - bought and paid for (well the pathetic % that the Bank didn't own, but you know what I mean).  And then my marriage broke up and I kept the suburban "dream" and he kept the country "safe haven" and only our mutual offspring now have the benefit of both (spoilt little buggers!) 

Western Australia is actually quite tricky when one is looking for a safe haven (Zombie wise that is)  Admittedly we have no bears or cougars (not counting Drop Bears which may or may not exist - a bit like Zombies people!) but also we have no bloody water!  We cling to the edges of this continent and pretend that it is able to support us all...those little green corridors that line this huge island continent - like a sad verdant valance on a dry desert bed.  But when you look at the possible escape areas - not much room to maneuver. 

It's funny reading American (North) survivalist sites - particularly those from Texas - the BIG US State  - do you know how many times Texas fits into Western Australia? 

This many times: 8.3424904 times

That's quite a lot of times.  But MOST of WA is not very hospitable for (most) of us.  So where would YOU go in a SHTF scenario?  You have to get away, there has to be water, the possibility of growing food, aka arable land, it has to be remote enough to avoid the rush of starving unprepared people and shuffling hordes of Zombies?  Where in WA (or your state/county etc)  do you think would be a) within driving distance in a crises situation  b)able to support life c) not so full of rednecks that you'd suddenly find yourself married to your own sister with a son called Cletus?

Not so easy is it?  I will checking out possibilities this weekend.  More to come.