So we all know about the horrible face eating incident in Miami...

...so I am NOT going to post a link to it here (Let's just say my paranoia levels rose QUITE a bit over the weekend! ) But given that Zombie's are the new black (see how ahead of the pack I am..the shuffling, hunger-crazed pack...)  you might find this of interest:  http://www.mapofthedead.com/

Apologies for not posting last week - family stuff got in the way.  I will make up for it with a longer post soon I promise. 

Bugging out!

Tomorrow I have to drive down south - to the country!!- for various not very happy family matters. 

A sojourn out of urban surrounds is making me ponder that all important facet of Zombie Survival - the Bug Out Spot.

Once upon a time I HAD a bug-out spot - bought and paid for (well the pathetic % that the Bank didn't own, but you know what I mean).  And then my marriage broke up and I kept the suburban "dream" and he kept the country "safe haven" and only our mutual offspring now have the benefit of both (spoilt little buggers!) 

Western Australia is actually quite tricky when one is looking for a safe haven (Zombie wise that is)  Admittedly we have no bears or cougars (not counting Drop Bears which may or may not exist - a bit like Zombies people!) but also we have no bloody water!  We cling to the edges of this continent and pretend that it is able to support us all...those little green corridors that line this huge island continent - like a sad verdant valance on a dry desert bed.  But when you look at the possible escape areas - not much room to maneuver. 

It's funny reading American (North) survivalist sites - particularly those from Texas - the BIG US State  - do you know how many times Texas fits into Western Australia? 

This many times: 8.3424904 times

That's quite a lot of times.  But MOST of WA is not very hospitable for (most) of us.  So where would YOU go in a SHTF scenario?  You have to get away, there has to be water, the possibility of growing food, aka arable land, it has to be remote enough to avoid the rush of starving unprepared people and shuffling hordes of Zombies?  Where in WA (or your state/county etc)  do you think would be a) within driving distance in a crises situation  b)able to support life c) not so full of rednecks that you'd suddenly find yourself married to your own sister with a son called Cletus?

Not so easy is it?  I will checking out possibilities this weekend.  More to come.

Know Your Zombie!!!

Oh if only it were this simple!

So, why Zombies?... I hear you ask (as you shuffle akwardly backwards and try not to make eye-contact)  Why not some other, more likely apocalypse?  Lets face it, in the last few years we've had imminent economic collapse, pig AND chicken flu pandemics, earthquakes and exploding volcanoes, impending comets and 2012 (was *) the supposed end of the Mayan calendar - all far more likely contendors for DOOM than Zombies, surely?

Well if one prepares for a ZOMBIE apocalypse then one has all the other possible apocalypses covered doesn't one? (and one should really stop referring to oneself in the third person cos it makes One... me sound crazy)  I mean did you know that the American Centre for Disease Control agrees with me about this?  If you are ready for Zombies then you are ready for anything right?

Damn tooting!  But, getting away from that slightly sane, this is all a good natured, we're all in on the joke lark -  where and when are Zombies most likely to arise?

Good question! - I AM glad you asked! 

Here are the most likely current contenders:

Zombie Snails - http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/kids/animals-pets-kids/invertebrates-kids/snail-zombies-kids/
Bird droppings into our water supply... it could happen!

Zombie Fungi - Mutations occur people!!! (Also this one is narrated by David Attenborough and, I don't know about you, but quite frankly that man's voice could make me believe in anything)

Malaria & sleeping sickness also have several strains that could potentially spawn a Zombie outbreak (Google them if you dare - add the word Zombie)

Creutzfeldt–Jakob Disease - http://blogcritics.org/scitech/article/stopping-the-zombie-disease-aka-mad/  This one is particularly close to my heart - having lived in the UK just prior to this hitting the news - the Red Cross don't want my blood, in case I am Zombie Patient Zero! (They want yours though - seriously - go donate you slacker!!)

And finally - this one is really tragic and VERY weird -
Nodding Disease:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nodding_disease

So - what does this tell us?  That a Zombie outbreak is possible?  That we don't know really what is just around the corner?  That Science geeks have too much time on their hands? - Possibly - just look at this web-site: http://thetortoiseslens.blogspot.com.au/2010/03/agent-based-computational-model-of.html     or it may be that this spotty science nerd is all that stands between you and extinction (and having your brain consumed by blood-crazed monsters and that nice Mrs Johnson from next door)

One day, maybe soon, an obscure Blog such as this may herald the future:  http://blog.ushahidi.com/index.php/2010/03/31/zombie-outbreak/

And on that cheerful note I leave you with this:

*They have apparently found a whole new one that debunks that - coincidence???? My Tin Hat tells me No!! - but then my Tin Hat tells me a lot of things...mostly Kill them..Kill them all ..umm wait...did I just say that out loud? Hahahah Joking!!! Yeah.....

Taking stock...

I used to be a "Prepper"  Or at least, a "Semi-Prepper"  Which is kinda like a Prepper, but without the guns, bug-out spot or bunker (see previous post).   What I did have was a serious case of Pandemic paranoia and a laundry full of about 6 weeks worth of food and medicine.  That was during the height of the first Avian Flu scare in 2006.  Since then my paranoia has remained high but my supplies have sadly dwindled. Not to mention my family has doubled in size (step children) and a new husband.

This is all that's left:

A few respirators and some extremely out of date Tamiflu (Best before Nov 2007) and one slightly mangled box of useless paper surgical masks.  This is not going to cut it!

Preparing for a Zombie Apocalypse is not so easy when you live in the middle of the city and have sod all spare cash.  If I was uber-rich I would simply buy into one of these  and hope like hell that none of my fellow 1 per centers was bitten on the way in. But given I am one of the 99% (aka Zombie fodder) I will have to get creative to survive.

Of course the good thing about this whole situation is that I am not alone in my craziness.  Tin Foil Hats are the new black in 2012.  Thus re-inventing the Anti-Zombie chainsaw - Katana is not necessary - there are sites all over the Internets dedicated to surviving ANY kind of apocalypse.

Let's start with a few shall we?

http://offgridsurvival.com/survivalwebsites/
A list of Survivalist web-sites includes Websites with names such as "Prepared Christian" and "Viking Survival" (I know which Team I'd rather be on!)

http://www.suburbanprepper.com/
American Blog (Northern California) that describes itself as follows:
"Many of us cannot or will not move out to rural northern Idaho in order to increase our chances (nothing is a guarantee) of survival in a SHTF scenario. For the suburban prepper, the goal is to minimize the impact on your family while maintaining sufficient food stores, home protection and maximizing your chance of being ready for the next quake, flood, economic collapse, riot, bird flu outbreak or dirty bomb that happens to come our way."
(Ed:  What No Zombies?????)

http://www.mungosaysbah.com/
Mungo says Bah - A personal Favourite - although not strictly a "Prepper" site - more of a mad Canadian McGuyver.

BUT the one I am checking out tomorrow is this one - as being the most relevant for my own situation:  ie living in Australia with no 2nd amendment.
http://www.aussurvivalist.com/

On a final note - my son made me play the Walking Dead Game - Dead Reckoning the other night - I got eaten, a lot.  And then I was too scared to play anymore.  So my self-image as the poster girl for impending DOOM took a bit of a hammering...

Courtesy of http://www.motifake.com/89123

Where's the damn Bunker??!!

This Blog is all True...  The TITLE is, of course, fictional, unless you are reading this by the dying light of a fading iPad battery as hordes of undead shuffle past on wind-swept streets.  In which case, hopefully the title is now solidly FACT, because otherwise I am dead, or possibly shuffling past your heavily boarded up windows...feeling hungry.

Now that context is firmly established (or not)  let me tell you why I decided to write a Zombie Apocalypse Survival Blog. A few weeks ago my 14 year old daughter Isabelle and I had the following conversation:

Isabelle:  Hey Mum, my friend Kirsty thinks your awesome.

Me:  (Surprised but pleased)  Thanks.  Nice to know.

Isabelle:  Yeah, she says your much cooler than her Mum. Her Mum doesn't even believe in the Zombie  Apocalypse, or pandemics or anything.

Me: (Smugly) Well some people just aren't very smart.

Isabelle:  Yeah, she thinks you're awesome and wants to know if she can come and share our bunker.  She said she doesn't need to bring her Mum...or her little brother.

Me:   Sure!  Wait..  Bunker, what bunker?

Isabelle:  You know, the bunker, for the apocalypse.  That bunker you have.

Me:  (Slightly hysterical)  I don't have a bunker!  What makes you think I have a bunker.

Isabelle:  I dunno, I thought you told me once that you have a bunker or something.  You know, when you were all crazy about the Bird flu a few years ago.  You said you were ready for anything and you filled the laundry with baked beans and stuff and I'm sure you said we had a bunker.

Me:  No, we don't have a bunker - where the hell would we get a bunker?  And we ate all that food, and the rice got full of weevils and the potatoes went gross.  All I have left now are a few respirators and some out of date Tamiflu!!

Isabelle:  Really?  Is that all?  Really, no bunker?

Me:  Definitely no bunker.

Isabelle:  Well that's crap!  Hang on, I have to go Skype Kirsty and tell her we're all going to die.  Man, I really thought you had a bunker.


And that's when I realised that all my talk about surviving in an emergency (aka Zombie Apocalypse) was just that...all talk.  And that I am no more prepared than the next idiot for a TEOTWAWKI situation.

In fact, I am probably WORSE off than most, because I know what I should be doing if I truly believed my own tin-foil hat theories.  So when the excrement hits the oscillating blades I won't be one of those running around waving my arms in the air screaming "How could this happen", I'll be one of the ones staring at myself in the mirror and screaming "How could you let this happen WITHOUT getting ready, you stupid beeeatch!!"

So after several weeks of lamenting my disgraceful lack of preparedness and bunker-less state, I have decided to document my quest to prepare for the  End of the World.  It's not as easy as it sounds.